Time; the eternal non-conformist.
No matter how you will it, it always does exactly the opposite.
Its food determines its speed.
A steady diet of joy, excitement, and desire for eternity stimulates it and causes the hands to turn rapidly, pulling those precious moments out from under you like a rug, leaving you stunned, wondering where they went.
As the complete paradox, a helping of apprehension, nervousness and fear can cause time to drag on monotonously, like a horse run too hard, slowly trudging forward, losing momentum, until it collapses to move no more.
No matter how you will it, Time always does exactly the opposite.
The God of non-conformity.