Help! I’m in Love with a Fictional Character

I don’t believe in celebrity crushes. It’s one of those things that has always sat wrong with me, the idea of having a crush on someone you’ve never actually met. Especially someone who you only know via their work and the gossip mags. That doesn’t seem right to me.

For me the idea of having a crush on someone involves more than just physical attraction. There’s an emotional and mental connection, a smattering of similarities and sharing of values. That’s not something you can have with someone who you only know from film.

There’s a significant difference between attraction and a crush.

Honestly, I tend to get crushes not on the actors but on the characters they play. I fall for the fictional characters, the ones you really get to know. The ones with complexity and emotions and personalities that you can really understand. I don’t know whether it’s just my overactive imagination or just pure insanity, but to me the fictional characters in books and television and film just seem so much more tangible to me than some actor.

That being said, and because I just love me some good lists, here are my top five “character” crushes:

1. Neville Longbottom – The Harry Potter Series

I fell in love with him in the books, and then the movies came along and only made it that much stronger. Neville is the ultimate BAMF.

Even though Harry Potter is the main character of the series, he is a relatively static character overall. He stays pretty much the same noble, determined character that he is from the beginning. On the other hand, Neville is perhaps the most dynamic character of the series. Through the seven books he goes from a bumbling, shy, awkward kid to a brave leader and Harry’s unofficial second in command.

Add to that Matthew Lewis’ amazing mastery of the puberty spell and you’ve got the ultimate nerd, both sweet and badass.

2. The 10th Doctor – Doctor Who

Who doesn’t love at least one Doctor? I mean, really. Be honest here.

Hands down though, David Tennant’s Doctor is probably the most popular since Tom Baker. He’s full of childlike energy, always curious and eager for excitement. He is the passionate reincarnation from 9’s war-torn soul, refreshed and ready to take on the world.

From his whirlwind unspoken love with Rose to his painful recovery along with Martha to his epic friendship with Donna, he has the greatest, ever-changing repertoire of companions that keeps him always shifting through new dynamics. It keeps the show fresh and exciting.

Not to mention the sexy combination of suits and trainers, and best of all the nerdy specs.

3. R – Warm Bodies

Yes, he’s a zombie. But look at that cute wittle face!

My favourite thing about R is that he’s a dreamer. He may be stuck in a menial, flesh-eating life but that doesn’t stop him from wanting more. He wants to experience life to the fullest, despite the overwhelming obstacles in his path.

Socially awkward but oddly charming, R manages to win the heart of his human girl with his puppy dog eyes and gentle nature. Questionable hygiene and unsavory eating habits aside, he’s a sweet and caring man who is incredibly devoted to his girl, even willing to sacrifice his life – undeath? – to keep her safe.

And of course there’s his totally bitchin’ vinyl collection.

4. Kairan Fischer – Chronicles of Syntax

I will freely admit that this one is pure, nerd glory. The tech support commander of a group of genetically enhanced humans from the future? It doesn’t get much geekier than that.

A lot like Neville, Kairan is the awkward, bumbling sidekick type character. He’s the uncoordinated fighter and computer nerd who most often stays back at base and offers the technical back-up. Still, even though he messes up as often as he succeeds, he always come through for his team in the end.

Always available with a sarcastic quip and a nerdy pop culture reference, Kairan provides some much needed humour and lightness to a dark, dystopian storyline. Also his Scottish accent is gorgeous.

5. Arthur – Inception

What’s not to love about Arthur? He is like the James Bond of this generation: smooth, debonair, capable, smart, and just a bit mischievous. Oh and boy does he fill out those three-piece suits nicely.

The Inception Point Man is clearly the level-headed, rational one amid a mass of colourful personalities. He takes his job very seriously, and even when he is sometimes under-appreciated by his team members, he knows deep down that he is important. His unerring dedication to best friend Cobb is admirable, especially considering the constant danger that it puts him in. He can handle himself in both situations of business calm and high octane action, like that epic anti-gravity fight scene. Clearly this guy knows how to do it all.

And let us never forget that cheeky kiss he steals from Ariadne. “Worth a shot,” indeed.

As I look back over this list, I clearly have a type, don’t I?

Tall, dark, and nerdy!